Monday, June 16, 2008

A Prayer that doesn't rhyme.. a title that shows i need it

God, give me the courage
to question what i fear
and then the patience
to learn the answers
and then the courage
to act upon them.
And while i learn
give me the will power
to not lapse into

Give me the discretion
to know the difference
between what the eyes see
and what the mind knows.
Let it dawn on me
as an instinct so strong
that the mind and the heart
are no longer apart.
And then give me the conviction
to stand by my ideals,
not those that come from school,
or books or scriptures
or convenience or fear,
but those that feel
true to my soul.
And then give me the strength
to protect them
when the world
warns me against them.

Give me the freedom
to flow with change
and not stagnate
from a viscous ego.
And let me learn
to live and love
and let go
without wanting
to appropriate.
And then give me the humility
to accept the change
that is good
and the integrity to resist
that which is not.

And finally, God,
enlighten me
so I make choices
that are best
for everyone
who is affected.
And also enlighten them
to see the larger meaning
beneath it.
And then let not
the hurt caused
become a scar.
Instead let it be
the light
that glows; therefrom
in you we shall unite...

(My few and hence dear readers,
Chitchatni could see quite a few inscrutable, abstruse, half philosophical, half desperate, hardly ingenious but probably the most sincere posts in some time to come.
Please bear with it all as you would an old, senile woman's rantings to herself.
Your comments are more valuable now than ever.
You sometimes unwittingly say things that help me realize better the truth of my situation .)

Friday, June 13, 2008

Happy Birthday Bubble

Dear Bubble,

Happy Birthday!

Had you been alive you'd have turned 16 today. I had thought earlier that when you'd call it quits I will get another dog to ease the pain , but i never did. There cannot be another dog like you. But you know what? I celebrated your birthday in grand style today. I went to this dog shelter and spent time with all those dogs who belonged to nobody. A great soul introduced me to it. I know you're sulking because you never liked the idea of my playing with other dogs. But I'm hoping heaven mellowed you down. You were not really the furriest of all dogs, but some of these had hardly any hair on them. Some were badly bruised. Not surprising then that no one loved them. They don't make "trophy" dogs. You can't walk them in parks because they don't cost you forty grands. I know what you're thinking. You were half mongrel yourself. But I loved you. Loved you all the more because you were half stray. I wonder what the dog community had to say when your pedigreed mother ran away with your plebeian father. Hmm... but we shall not digress from the point here.

I met "Mendhak", a little, brown she-dog there (you know i don't like the B word). She'd have made you a good girlfriend, if you were genteel enough then. Her people abandoned her because she had rickets. And then i met "Germany", the Alsatian, who won't be around too long. Her folks threw her out of their car when they discovered she had cancer. I'm not sad about her because they're taking good care of her at the shelter and she is living the few days that she has being loved and living in the company of other dogs, and in dignity. There are so many stories about that place. Interestingly, it is being operated from under a flyover for about thirty years now! Feels strange to think how many times have I driven over that flyover, sometimes worried, sometimes anxious, sometimes despondent, unaware of the sheer animal survival will that lay beneath my wheels.

Is it dinner time for you in heaven? Do you still like your toast with cheese? I miss you.

You know the one thing that I really loved about you? You'd always listen to me, your ears cocked, giving me that expression as if you understood. You did understand me, right? I know you never judged me. Like you aren't even now. Heck! Any other dog would have pronounced me insane to be talking over a blog with him! But you were always the philosophical kinds anyway. Moreover, everybody's blogging these days. It has gone to the dogs! (cheesy, eh?) Send me your link sometime.

And if you meet with God please ask him to give me some ideas, if not the money, so I can do something about your fellow mates. Have you heard of Corporate Social Responsibility? It's like a big buzz word here these days. But when it comes to dogs and animals in general, there are hardly any takers. Guess that's because dog-speak is not taught at school.

Did I tell you that i miss you like hell?

All right now don't give me those looks. I know you can't take mush for too long. So time for some tug-at-the-trousers.

Catch me if you can!

Please do.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


After years today
My heart wells up
feeling a new emotion
One that I have never felt before.
But like all the previous times
that i have felt something move
like this inside me,
today, again, it is raining outside,
the cars are honking on the street
and people are moving around me
in dizzying hurry,
and i am at the center
of the whirlpool
fixed, as the eddies
swirl around me.
It happens in dreams
you're walking on grasslands
twittering and chattering
about all things beautiful
and all things mundane
looking for a place
where you'll sit down
and unpack your quaint
picnic box.
But before you unfold
the rag you would have
sat upon,
the grasslands metamorphize
to the sands of Sahara;
the picnic box
to an old picture
of you and your companion
that once was,
when you strolled
the grasslands together.
Tomorrow will never be
the same as yesterday.
And the last time i realized this
it was raining outside,
the cars were honking on the street
and people were moving around me
in dizzying hurry,
and I was at the center
of the whirlpool
fixed, as the eddies
swirled around me.