STRANGE LOVE

Valentine’s day is over and I am heaving a huge sigh of relief. No, I have nothing against it. In fact, I quite like the love in the air and all those things. But there are some things about love that I’d never understand.

For instance, I remember watching this movie with my friends where this guy proposes to his girl by strategically placing a diamond ring in some creamy stuff that the girl was eating. The restaurant people were all privy to the plan and were giving encouraging looks to the guy (couldn’t have been a place in the city-centre, where getting the attention of the restaurant people is tougher than getting an application passed in a Government office). And then the girl, most delicately, discovers something not quite creamy in her mouth, and even more delicately, takes it out , says something like “Oh Chuck! You didn’t have to!” and thinks “Finally!”, and the rest is something we all know. While all my friends cooed and sighed , I was quite befuddled. I mean, what if the girl swallowed it? You swallow a diamond and you’re dead! I made a mental note to remember to tell whoever would be my would-be to not try such antics on me. I am very accident prone and I like my diamonds on my fingers, not in my mouth. Besides, when I discover something unwanted in my mouth I’m most likely to jump on my toes and spit it out right across the table. That can be tricky, unless you are quick to dodge.

Another thing that I cannot fathom is love messages in the newspapers. First of all, how would you know which news paper exactly does your object of affection read? And even if you did manage to find that out, why would you write something that reads like “Dear S, life without you is like soda without gas, yours Admirer4ever”?? I mean, how would Dear S know that it is she/he who is being talked about and that Admirer4ever is you?? Whatever happened to good old text messaging or emailing?? Much better returns on investment any given day, if you ask me.

For love-birds to act strangely can be justified as symptoms of being love-struck. But what I find stranger is the way some of these radio jockeys begin to hyper-ventilate on this day. Even in their normal state of existence their Electro Cardiograms would look like stalactites and stalagmites. One such RJ caught hold of a couple that was probably shopping for groceries. She wished them Valentine’s in all the musical notes her vocal chords could possibly engender and after twenty five seconds of uncontrollable giggles asked the woman two questions. 1) “Is that your husband with you?” and 2) “Do you love him??”(right under his nose). Much to the relief of the audience both the answers were in the affirmative. Imagine the poor woman’s dilemma. What if the answer to the first question was in the negative? I believe that the RJ would still have gone on to ask her the second question!

And then there is the inseparable concomitant of Valentine’s Day- Discount Sales. I can understand the 50 percent off on apparels and chocolates but what, in the name of Cupid , has kitchen appliances to do with it? But then maybe in some parts of the world they express their love with mixers and grinders (you churn up my senses??)

Love has always been strange. But stranger still are its manifestations. Then again, this isn’t the first time someone said that.