What happens when a meeting between a VHP activist and a city girl is arranged
for marriage? Read on……
GIRL: Are you superman?
VHP ACTIVIST: No I’m Very Hard to Please man.
GIRL: Ooooooooh la la! My kinda guy!
VHP ACTIVIST: My Kinda Gay? That’s opposition.
GIRL: Never mind! What are your hobbies?
VHP ACTIVIST: VHP
VHP ACTIVIST: Vandalism, Hadtaal and Partisan Politics
GIRL: Oh! How nice! So what exactly is your job profile like?
VHP ACTIVIST: VHP
GIRL: Which is…..?
VHP ACTIVIST: Vandal who Handles Property
GIRL: Wow! That's like the Accounts Manager.. What property do you handle?
VHP ACTIVIST: Depends. Extortions on a good day. Gold chains and wrist watches on Valentines day.
GIRL: How sweet! Gold chain on Valentine’s day! Is that a hint?
VHP ACTIVIST: Yes. VHP..
GIRL: Lemme guess... Valentine’s Heartfelt Present??
VHP ACTIVIST: No. Valentine Hai Paap. Jo manaenge Vo Honge Punished.
GIRL: Oh… Accha tell me, are your parents supportive of your career?
VHP ACTIVIST (breaks down and starts weeping): I wanted to become a painter. But my parents did not see any future in it. So I decided to make a career of my hobby.
GIRL: That’s not too bad. Show me some of your art-works.
VHP ACTIVIST: (sniff) Here. (hands out some photographs to her)
GIRL: Oh.. but these are pictures of people with their faces painted black.
VHP ACTIVIST: Yes. I took to face-painting. This one’s taken outside Archies gallery. It’s called The Last Shopper.
GIRL: Uh… Ok... Accha since we might end up together, lets know each other’s past. Did you have any girlfriends?
VHP ACTIVIST: That’s a professional hazard.
VHP ACTIVIST: Girlfriends are counterproductive to our B.D.
GIRL: BD as in Bajrang Dal?
VHP ACTIVIST: No. BD as in Business Development. Although there was one. I did not bring her any gifts on Valentine ’s Day and explained her how it was American to do so. She slapped me and walked out saying that Saint Valentine was Italian. She ran away with a fellow BD activist who bought a present for her on the sly a month before the V-day.
GIRL: Oh.. I’m sorry.. that kinda explains. Er.. if I may ask, “fellow BD activist” as in Business Developer?
VHP ACTIVIST: No. Bajrang Dal.
GIRL: Aah.. I see.. Uh.. I gotta go now. I have a very high profile meeting to attend.
VHP ACTIVIST: I like you! You’re already talking in my terms! Very High Profile meeting – VHP!!
GIRL: Er… Ri..ght..
VHP ACTIVIST: So, will you marry me?
GIRL (Aloud) : Well…there’s a Very High Probability…
(To herself) …if I want to commit Voluntary Hara-kiri from Psyching out, that is, Mr. VHP…